Practice Exam 1

Argument essay week # 6 Home work

This story is about a college freshman that is behind on his studies. After being approached by his professor he “squirms  anxiously” (1) Christen Science Monitor. The student is asked by his professor if he is working to much and is unable to devote time to schoolwork. The student states that is not the problem.  He states he had to work to pay for this car and needs a car to get to work.

 This essay will focus on this students need to work, readiness for college, and need for a car while in college.

The student should quit his job and concentrate on his school study. The reason this student works 30 hours per week is to pay for his car to get to work. I feel that the student should put the time that he would be working into school. It will be an important part of his future to do well in school and work later.

The student is not ready for college and has other priorities, such as work if the student is not able to balance his employment and school, he needs to pick which is important. From my understanding he is no mature enough for school. What leads me to that belief is that ‘”he hasn’t finished his paper, which was due two days ago” (2-3) Christen Science Monitor. The reason he conveyed to the professor is he has not had time. It appears that work is a distraction for him regarding school.

If this student only works to pay for a car and only needs a car to drive to work, he does not need a car for school. With that in mind, he should give up the car and spend the time he works on his studies. This boy will had plenty of time to work after he completes school. The car is a major distraction and has a domino effect on his studies, for example he needs to work to have a car and needs a car to work.

In summary the student does not need to work to get through college. He is not ready for college he had other interest such as work and a car. While in college the car is not needed as he states the car is just to get to work.

 

 

 

 

Pre-Writing , Analysis/Response Musee des Beaux Arts

This poem is about suffering.

The tone of this poem is strong and deep.

In my opinion the poem does not match the painting.

The poem is not in an order it is all over the place.

 

This essay is in response to Musee des Beaux Arts by W.H. Auden. The poem is focused on suffering; the writer has a strong tone to get his point across and the work is very deep.

Human suffering is the intent of this poem. The author wants his readers to know about the fact that suffering is real and the effects it had on life as described “They never forgot” (Auden 9)  about the pain and suffering which is described in detail.

The tone is very strong  “Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse Scratches its innocent behind on a tree”. ( Auden 13-14) The writer makes a strong point with his wording as worded in the quote above. He references “ a boy falling out of the sky”( Auden 20) these are very strong words regarding suffering.

The wording seems to be very deep to leave room for individual interpretation of suffering. The painting “Lines on Pieter Brueghel the Elder’s Painting (Auden 1) is comparing this poem to a painting, which is hard to follow as far as what direction the writer is going. The writer is trying to convey that everyone can suffer, yet from different things. Auden also uses examples of animals vs. humans suffering.

In summary the poem is telling the reader that suffering is real. The author uses very strong tone as described above. Deep wording makes Audens’ exact type of suffering unclear.

 

 

Revision Strategies Essay

 The  letter to the administrator was written by a group of college students, who were writing  a letter to the college administrator regarding a new policy that is proposed by the college. The policy is to mandate students to complete a set number of community service hours in order to graduate. The letters arguments are out of order and hard to follow. Also, spelling and grammar are very poor throughout and the students choose to use very sloppy wording due to anger.

The paragraphs don’t follow the thesis. The writer switches from topic to topic, which makes their point hard to follow. The points are scattered from paragraph to paragraph.  I feel to keep the readers (administrator) attention the important points must be concise and in order of priority.  The sentence “ college students are already too busy” (2-3) which is the first point of the thesis doesn’t correlate with the first paragraph ” We aren’t obligated to help the community” (6). This is an example of not following the thesis as well as being out of order and very easily leading to confusion.

The spelling and grammar is very poor through the letter for example “ waist” (3)  incorrect  spelling. The way the letter is started” We, a group of students here want to urge you not to add a community service requirement.” (1) is a poor choice of wording to start the letter. The student writing should take more time use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Due to anger of the situation the writer is very sloppy in the choice of wording used to convey his point. The sentence which read “because we’re so busy, many of us will do a bad job” (4-5) shows negativity, I feel the writer could get their point across without the negativity.. The use of positive reasons why this proposal is not wanted would send a stronger message and keep the reader’s attention. This student needs to have more validation of the reasons why this community service would be a bad assignment for students.

In summary the paragraphs must follow the thesis stay on topic. Spelling and grammar must be precise and correct to be able to understand and show the reader that this is important. The use of sloppy wording due to anger should not be a part of accurate writing as listed above.