Practice Exam # 2

Analysis and Response, Pre-Writing

Digging by Seamus Heaney

The writer is writing about a child of a father and grandfather that were hard working potato farmers.

The son of the potato farmers was not following in their footsteps as far as farming.

The child’s life was made easier by the hard work of father and grandfather.

 

The essay will be an analysis and response to Digging by Seamus Heaney. The writer is writing about a child that is reflecting on the hard work of his father and grandfather, who had a potato farm. They made the life of their children financially sound so they wouldn’t have to struggle and do hard manual labor. This child will use his mind versus manual labor in this career.

 

I can relate to this child mentioned in this poem “ a young man is sitting by the window with a pen in his hand”.(Heaney 1-2) reflecting on the hard work of this father and grandfather on the their potato farm. I sit and reflect on history and how ways of the past made life better for me. It is good to reflect on history that made you what you are today. This can bring you to reality which we sometimes forget. The child his looking/reflecting at what was the cause of his life is now.

The hard work of the father and grandfather of the boy who was reflecting in the above paragraph was the reason why “he will not have to do the hard labors like his family before him (Heaney 12). They are planning for their children’s financial future and stability. They had worked daily to raise the farm and made a foundation for their family through manual labor and strategic planning. If this was not done this way they would have had to be responsible to do the hard manual labor.

Because of this hard manual work of this child’s father and grandfather “this person can work so that perhaps he could get an education”(Heaney 9-10) and work with his mind instead of his back. A good education will make this child potentially have a job that is clean and that there is no manual labor involved in. If his father and grandfather did not follow the path they did this may not have been possible of financial feasible. An education today could be a wealth of knowledge to enhance someone’s future.

In summary the writer made a solid point on this child reflecting on the hard work of his father and grandfather on the potato farm. The hard work was necessary for their future and children so they could be financially stable to allow their children the opportunity to an education, and not have to do hard manual labor. The children could get educated and work with their minds and not their backs.

 

 

 

 

 

Argument Essay:

The Why We Crave Horror Movies by Stephen King is one sided text that explains that all people that love horror movies are mentally ill, in some form or another. I feel that this piece of work has no factual proof that all people that love horror movies are mentally ill,  the story  is one sided  and the writer should have a study completed before writing such a story.

Stephen King has factual evidence listed that all people that love scary movies are mentally ill in some way, form or another. Apparently this relates to his personal feelings and opinions on horror movies. From my prospective this is a very opinionated story to write without proof. Stephen is stereotyping all those who have interest in these types of movies, which is wrong in my opinion. I enjoy these types of movies and can say I’m not mentally ill. I take offence this story as I am sure others do as well for example statements like “If we are all insane, then sanity becomes a matter of degree” (King 8).  

As l said above Stephen king has no evidence based information regarding illness and creates an argument that “most people that love scary movies are mentally ill” (King 1-2). This is a one side story; Stephen gives no other opinion on this statement. Readers need to be aware that there was no research or input from anyone considering such a statement and view besides the author himself. The arguments that I feel the author should have considered when writing are, how will this affect readers, the need to research/ surveying individuals who enjoy the movies.  Also, it may be helpful to interview individuals who may have expertise in this type of information to have both sides listed as far as why people love scary movies. Stephen may have just personal experience with someone that is mentally ill, who loves scary movies which should have no judgment on everyone else that like these movies.

Stephen should have had an evidence based study completed before writing this one sided story. In order to have the writer read and gather good useful information that should be factual information from stated in his work. This type of study should been completed by mental health research professionals. If there was evidence that this was factual regarding this it may help treat those suffering from this type of illness.

In summary Stephen King has no factual proof that most people that love scary movies are mentally ill in some form or another as described above. This is one sided and just Stephens’ opinion regarding this subject. There was no evidence based studies completed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Revision Strategies Essay:

After reading the essay written by Justin, regarding his life as a young 18 year old Asian male who likes night life and partying. The thesis is very clear, there many errors with spelling and grammar. Also, a main point of the writer is repeated throughout the essay over several paragraphs until he believes his point is understandable, which can be clarified in one substantial paragraph.

The thesis statement is very clear and easy to understand the writers point that he has discovered he is “good at (The Night Life),  spending $$ on fashion (Clothes, Attractive Girls), clubbing and enjoying delicious food”( Justin, 3-4). Justin is very colorful in his thesis statement explaining what he enjoys in life and what he wants the reader to understand.

There are many errors in spelling and grammar through the essay for example in the in the thesis statement (The Night Life), Spending $$ on Fashion (Clothes, Attractive Girls), Clubbing and enjoying delicious food( Justin, 3-4) Above listed is miss use of commas, dollar signs and capitalization of letters is in mid-sentence is incorrect.

The main point of nightlife is repeated throughout many paragraphs which can cause the reader to become distracted. I feel that explaining about his night life activities can be described in one paragraph to convey an idea to the reader.

In conclusion the writer had written a good thesis statement as far as getting his points across to the reader. There were many errors in grammar and spelling as described above which makes a weak essay. The paragraphs describing night life also can be clarified in one paragraph instead of being repeated which can be very confusing for the reader. Also the essay is very lengthy and jumps from point to point before a clear point is made. The writer must edit this work.

 

 

 

Practice Exam 1

Argument essay week # 6 Home work

This story is about a college freshman that is behind on his studies. After being approached by his professor he “squirms  anxiously” (1) Christen Science Monitor. The student is asked by his professor if he is working to much and is unable to devote time to schoolwork. The student states that is not the problem.  He states he had to work to pay for this car and needs a car to get to work.

 This essay will focus on this students need to work, readiness for college, and need for a car while in college.

The student should quit his job and concentrate on his school study. The reason this student works 30 hours per week is to pay for his car to get to work. I feel that the student should put the time that he would be working into school. It will be an important part of his future to do well in school and work later.

The student is not ready for college and has other priorities, such as work if the student is not able to balance his employment and school, he needs to pick which is important. From my understanding he is no mature enough for school. What leads me to that belief is that ‘”he hasn’t finished his paper, which was due two days ago” (2-3) Christen Science Monitor. The reason he conveyed to the professor is he has not had time. It appears that work is a distraction for him regarding school.

If this student only works to pay for a car and only needs a car to drive to work, he does not need a car for school. With that in mind, he should give up the car and spend the time he works on his studies. This boy will had plenty of time to work after he completes school. The car is a major distraction and has a domino effect on his studies, for example he needs to work to have a car and needs a car to work.

In summary the student does not need to work to get through college. He is not ready for college he had other interest such as work and a car. While in college the car is not needed as he states the car is just to get to work.

 

 

 

 

Pre-Writing , Analysis/Response Musee des Beaux Arts

This poem is about suffering.

The tone of this poem is strong and deep.

In my opinion the poem does not match the painting.

The poem is not in an order it is all over the place.

 

This essay is in response to Musee des Beaux Arts by W.H. Auden. The poem is focused on suffering; the writer has a strong tone to get his point across and the work is very deep.

Human suffering is the intent of this poem. The author wants his readers to know about the fact that suffering is real and the effects it had on life as described “They never forgot” (Auden 9)  about the pain and suffering which is described in detail.

The tone is very strong  “Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse Scratches its innocent behind on a tree”. ( Auden 13-14) The writer makes a strong point with his wording as worded in the quote above. He references “ a boy falling out of the sky”( Auden 20) these are very strong words regarding suffering.

The wording seems to be very deep to leave room for individual interpretation of suffering. The painting “Lines on Pieter Brueghel the Elder’s Painting (Auden 1) is comparing this poem to a painting, which is hard to follow as far as what direction the writer is going. The writer is trying to convey that everyone can suffer, yet from different things. Auden also uses examples of animals vs. humans suffering.

In summary the poem is telling the reader that suffering is real. The author uses very strong tone as described above. Deep wording makes Audens’ exact type of suffering unclear.

 

 

Revision Strategies Essay

 The  letter to the administrator was written by a group of college students, who were writing  a letter to the college administrator regarding a new policy that is proposed by the college. The policy is to mandate students to complete a set number of community service hours in order to graduate. The letters arguments are out of order and hard to follow. Also, spelling and grammar are very poor throughout and the students choose to use very sloppy wording due to anger.

The paragraphs don’t follow the thesis. The writer switches from topic to topic, which makes their point hard to follow. The points are scattered from paragraph to paragraph.  I feel to keep the readers (administrator) attention the important points must be concise and in order of priority.  The sentence “ college students are already too busy” (2-3) which is the first point of the thesis doesn’t correlate with the first paragraph ” We aren’t obligated to help the community” (6). This is an example of not following the thesis as well as being out of order and very easily leading to confusion.

The spelling and grammar is very poor through the letter for example “ waist” (3)  incorrect  spelling. The way the letter is started” We, a group of students here want to urge you not to add a community service requirement.” (1) is a poor choice of wording to start the letter. The student writing should take more time use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Due to anger of the situation the writer is very sloppy in the choice of wording used to convey his point. The sentence which read “because we’re so busy, many of us will do a bad job” (4-5) shows negativity, I feel the writer could get their point across without the negativity.. The use of positive reasons why this proposal is not wanted would send a stronger message and keep the reader’s attention. This student needs to have more validation of the reasons why this community service would be a bad assignment for students.

In summary the paragraphs must follow the thesis stay on topic. Spelling and grammar must be precise and correct to be able to understand and show the reader that this is important. The use of sloppy wording due to anger should not be a part of accurate writing as listed above.

 

Eric's Critique From Week #5

After reviewing the critique of Eric's week 5 work completed by Nikita Driscoll. I feel that the critique was very complicated to understand. The mechanics were very strong. Overall the critique was not valuable to me due to it being very complicated.

The critique was very complicated to me regarding its length. Also the wording used was very difficult to follow the point the writer was trying to get across. There was a lack of quotes to verify the points that were made.


Mechanics were a very strong point in this work. The grammar and punctuation was very well done. Spelling was done with perfection. The mechanics were the strongest point from my perspective review.

This essay was not valuable to me due to the wording used was very hard for me to follow. The flow seemed to be out of order regarding the points that were weak and which were meant to be strong, for example weakest to strongest points in that order. The thesis statement was clear with fair transition sentences.

In conclusion the work was very hard to follow and complicated which the points are listed above. Mechanics were the strong point and were done well. The essay had no value to me and was to complicated and hard to understand the important points.

Revision Strategy Essay (Week # 5)

After reading and analyzing week one response/analysis essay, which was based off "Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden. I feel that the that the spelling, grammar and transition sentences were well written. The tone was weak.

All words were spelled correctly. Punctuation and grammar was in accordance with MLA. The flow of all sentences was well done and easy to understand. Quotes and citations were also in accordance with MLA.

The thesis was well worded and very clear. All points the thesis contained were in order with the paragraphs. The thesis was explained in detail in each paragraph. The conclusion covered all points listed in the thesis and was well worded. Transition sentences had a good flow and covered all points in an accurate manner.

The tone could have been stronger to get a better point across. Rhetorical devices if used would have played a role in adding emphasis to the essay as a hole. Tone is a very important component for the writer to convey information to the reader who is not familiar with the poem. One example is to place a question in the text for interpretation purposes.

In conclusion the response/analysis essay bases on "Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden was done farely well. Spelling and grammer were the strongest points for the essay. The tone was weak as described above regarding emphasizing on important points to get a strong point across. Thesis and transition sentences were clear and had good flow.

Those Winter Sundays Revised (Week # 4)

                                              Those Winter Sundays

"Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden. My analysis of the short poem is that the writer is referring to his father who had good family values, work ethic and a daily routine. The person had family values and worked very hard all week. He had the same routine weekdays, as well as every Sunday. The man is described as being a rugged type person, with good family values, work ethic and a daily routine.

This man had good family values which are described. He had values to work hard and take care of his family. The mans priority was not himself or body, which was shown from his "cracked hands that ached from labor in the weekday weather" (Hayden 3-4) but was to only care for his family and others. The man worked regardless of how exhausted or tired he was.

The individual has a good work ethic which showed with his hard work all week at his place of employment. While at work he was very aggressive with his duties and very organized with tasks. He "would rise and dress, fearing the chronic angers of that house" (Hayden 8-9). The man was well aware of the poor state of his house he did not let it discourage him. His work ethic at home was also very structured with the same repetitive routine. His good work ethic is an example of a person with good character.

As described he has a daily routine which is his ambitious hard work each day of the week. As he said "polished my good shoes as well" (Hayden 12) and dressed himself in a certain order and time of day every Sunday. There is a lot of positive life lessons to learn from this person.

In conclusion the tone of this writer was very strong regarding this old time hard working person. He had shown good family values, work ethic and consistent daily routine. The poem was based on the individuals Sunday routine during the winter months. The writer is getting his point across to the readers that his character and habits were very strong and concise

Those Winter Sundays Essay (Class #3 Homework)

  Those Winter Sundays

"Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden. My analysis of the short poem is that the writer is referring to his father who had good family values, work ethic and daily routine. The person had family values and worked very hard all week. He had the same routine weekdays, as well as every Sunday. The man is described as being a rugged type person.

He had values to work hard and take care of his family. The mans priority was not himself or body, which was shown from his "cracked hands that ached from labor in the weekday weather" (line 3) but was to only care for his family and others. The man worked regardless of how exhausted or tired he was.

The individual worked hard all week at his place of employment. While at work he was very aggressive with his duties and very organized with his tasks. He "would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house." (line 9) His work ethic at home was also very structured with the same repetitive routine.

The routine of the man was his ambitious hard work each day of the week. As he said "polished my good shoes as well" (line 12) and dressed himself in a certain order and time of day every Sunday.

In conclusion the tone of this writer was very strong regarding this old time hard working person. He had shown good family values, work ethic and consistent routine. The poem was based on the individuals Sunday routine during the winter months. The writer is getting his point across to the readers that his character and habits were very strong and concise.









     

We Real Cool

My view point of the intent of the poem "We Real Cool" is about a young person that quit school and engages in undesirable activity.

The person in this poem, along with friends are aware that the decisions they have made are bad. These decisions are destine to cause them to live short lives.

It is apparent that there is illegal drugs involved and this may be the influence on this person quitting school and knowing that the consequence is early death.

This person is very choppy and delusional in his wording and some what unclear in getting his point across in the text.